Lüfthildis and Husband; The Day Keeps Going.

They went to the first store and Lüfthildis started her stubborn period, checking each and everything these people sold. Husband entered the place and knew there will not be anything for his father. Telling a woman that there is nothing in a shop to buy is like telling devil that you have no soul to sell- THEY DON’T TAKE THAT! Any entrance with a counter and racks has to at least be looked inside even if they sell drillers as there might be a handbag, pair of shoes or set of earrings hidden only for that ONE woman somewhere. Lüfthildis hates shopping basically but she holds it like she does with discussions. Once she is at it, no way to stop her. She doesn’t even like buying, she just looks. Are women blind when they are not in a shop, is it that their eyes open when they hear the sound of the cash opening and closing? When Lüfthildis wants to buy something for her it has to happen fast. She doesn’t line up like others do. She doesn’t try stuff and she leaves most of the stuff she carries around in the shop for the entire time there when she wants to go and pay and there are more then two people waiting. She pays cash and she doesn’t like people working in these shops commenting on what she buys. If they do, she leaves the goods there and walks out. So she is the perfect companion to go shopping with in case you want to be denounced as an absolute weirdo or you don’t want to go to that shop in your life again.

Of course they couldn’t find anything, just like husband said. They sold nothing appropriate, not even half appropriate but at least there was a terrible, deafening music, which gave husband a headache. I don’t understand how come man can hear music in a shopping centre? We can’t! There is this medical misunderstanding, women give birth in water or in all these unnatural situations, take them to a shoe shop, a shopping mall and labour is done within seconds between pink sandals and black pumps- no pain, no screaming and no unusual sweat. The only thing you really have to know is: don’t train women as gynaecologists and make sure that male doctors don’t wait outside the store, we are concentrated on looking or complaining about the things that have to be miscut because we had a size 34, European size, and it looks far too small now. We might be stepping on the baby when we see something on a different shelf that looks “our” size. Husband, because he is smart, did not say the usual masculine sentence: “See I told you they don’t sell anything here”. He said: “Love, the store on the corner of the next block has good clothes”. A wonderful sentence of an obvious dreamer! How did he think he is going to get Lüfthildis there? If you want to pass a shop with a woman – blindfold her!!! Husband is the only man that can make Lüfthildis pass a shop, with a soft, strong hand and a tender smile on his face. Husband is the man to go shopping with, he doesn’t stress and he really looks at Lüfthildis when she, by mistake tries something on. Husband is the master of patience and good will. The two went into the suggested shop and after 5 minutes husband found the perfect present, paid it and was ready to go. Lüfthildis was more or less hanging in the shelves with her upper body buried in all kinds of different clothes murmuring into the jumpers whether husband already saw a particular jumper that turned out being ugly when she pulled it into the light. Husband guided Lüfthildis slowly to the door, out of the shop and then fast back to the hotel, so tender that she blatantly did not even realise it.

Arrived back at the hotel, Lüfthildis started the beauty session if you can call that hysterical, irrational system to avoid a brush and a blow-dryer in order to adjust the nest on her head. That is something that everybody knowing Lüfthildis is aware of her backhead has to be the habitat of an eagle or any other big bird.

to be continued…

Tomorrow, “Feel Lüfhildis’ stress” in Lüfthildis and husband; preperation.


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